The Law of Sustained Love™: Why Admiration Is the Real Glue
By Lisangelee Velázquez, M.S.
Founder, GiftedBecoming™
Author of The Overthinker’s Study Toolkit
Originator of The Behavioral Neurodivergent Learning Model and The law of Sustained Love
Most people think love ends with distance.
Or disconnection.
Or disappointment.
But I’ve learned something deeper:
What we call “falling out of love” is often just the slow erosion of admiration.
When Admiration Fades
Love doesn’t usually disappear all at once.
It fades when we no longer admire the person we’re connected to.
We stop admiring them when:
They stop growing.
They betray their own values.
Or they begin showing up in ways that no longer make us feel proud to be near them.
This doesn’t only happen in romantic partnerships.
It happens in friendships.
In workplaces.
And yes — even in our relationship with ourselves.
Why Admiration Matters
Admiration isn’t just a compliment.
It’s the emotional backbone of trust.
It’s what transforms casual connection into true devotion.
What makes a partner not just stay, but cherish.
What makes a leader not just respected, but followed.
And it’s what makes a person look in the mirror and say:
“I still respect who I’m becoming.”
Real love isn’t maintained by romance.
It’s maintained by embodied growth — the ongoing decision to evolve, even when no one is watching.
Becoming Worthy of Your Own Love
The Law of Sustained Love™ is not a romantic fantasy.
It’s a behavioral truth.
People — and trust — don’t stay attached to who you used to be.
They stay connected to who you are continuously becoming.
And if you’re not proud of who you’re becoming?
Love feels strained.
Including the love you offer yourself.
This is why self-love is not just bubble baths or affirmations.
It’s growth.
It’s integrity.
It’s being someone you would be proud to attach to, even if you were outside yourself looking in.
A Call to Overthinkers, Leaders, Lovers, and Learners
If you’re reading this and it hits something in you —
That ache you can’t explain, that tear you didn’t expect —
Know that you’re not alone.
You’ve likely been carrying the grief of admiration lost.
In others.
In yourself.
Maybe both.
But the Law of Sustained Love™ doesn’t end in loss.
It begins with the choice to return to growth.
To restore integrity.
To evolve back into someone you — and others — can be proud to love again.
And when admiration is restored,
Love returns.
Or more truthfully — it never left. It was just waiting for the becoming.
Posting is available on EdArXiv.
—
With warmth and belief,
Lisangelee Velázquez, M.S.
Founder of GiftedBecoming™
www.giftedbecoming.com
